Not long ago we came across this article, which asks a chillingly fun hypothetical question: what would you pack for the zombie apocalypse?
And with all due respect to the people who shared their answers in that story — ours are better.
Keep it Sunny
By Rachael Goh, junior writer
I would pack my iPad, a portable solar charger and a water-harvesting bottle. Take away everything but don’t take away my TV re-runs, which will probably keep me hard wired to stay alive in an apocalypse.
Someone said that zombies don’t fare well in the tropical heat — makes sense since they’re technically decaying bodies — so I’ll be spending a lot of time in the open. This provides ample opportunity for me to recharge my iPad charger.
And I’m no Bear Grylls, so that’s where the miracle water-harvesting bottle comes in — it should create water out of thin air. Kind of like that whole biblical water-to-wine miracle.
Light and Simple
By Khai Anis, senior designer
I’d pack a knife, a non-depleting candle, a rope and a pair of night-vision goggles. Maybe some extra socks and a sleeping bag, too.
Then it’s time to get some survival lessons with Bear Grylls. Hopefully not the undead version.
Firing up the Party Pack
By Alison Marshall, managing editor
With the benefit of early warning I have researched how to kill a zombie (which appears to be to destroy its brains). The problem is, I’m not a violent person and am well known to be cack-handed with kitchen knives.
So instead of a sharp weapon I’ll opt for the flamethrower approach; therefore a bottle of vodka and a lighter are a must. In the event that the zombies are a no show it will at least be the start of a great last party.
Assuming the apocalypse siren sounds while I’m at work, my well thought out survival pack would contain photos of my loved ones, a stash of dark chocolate — Marou from Vietnam — and a jar of honey.
Apparently it has great healing properties for burns (see reference to being cack-handed) and lasts forever.
A Bookish Apocalypse
By Chin Wei Lien, senior writer
I would pack a hand-powered charger and a Kindle. I’ve also thought about holing up in Singapore’s National Library building. Zombies are not good with stairs, generally speaking (lack of motor skills), so you want to stay in a high place.
Then I would just sit back and wait for the event to boil over — and realistically, it should, since our tropical heat will speed up decomposition. After a month or two, things should die down (hehe, die down).
In the meantime, I’d have all the time in the world to catch up on my reading. Maybe that Alexandre Dumas book I’ve always wanted to power through. If I need fuel for food, I will happily burn some supernatural romance books in the library’s catalogue.
Me and Princess Elsa
By Mary Weaver, chief subeditor
With three kids under the age of four, the thought of packing essentials and herding my children to safety is possibly scarier than the zombies outside my door. So my efforts will go towards securing my high-rise apartment and settling in for the long haul, aka Will Smith in I Am Legend, minus the priceless artwork and zombie-testing lab in the basement.
We’ll ration toilet paper, stickers, crayons and peanut butter — and try not to kill each other fighting over the single Princess Elsa costume in the dress up box.
Failing that, we need to take up residence in a fully-stocked impenetrable shopping mall with a supermarket, toy shop and cinema — Gold Class preferably, so we can all just sleep on those chairs watching Fantastic Mr Fox until the apocalypse is over.
Scribbling ‘til the End
By Daniel Seifert, assistant editor
I’d take the opportunity to finally write the great 21st Century Novel I’ve been dreaming about and totally not doing for years. So I’d pack nothing more than a Pininfarina Cambiano.
Sounds like an Italian venereal disease, but it’s actually an inkless pen. Its nib is made out of a metal alloy called ethergraf, which means you can write forever without having to refill on pesky ink cartridges.
Armed with that and oodles of time, I can finally write my opus without distraction. Plus I’m sure the Pininfarina could stab a zombie through the eye, at a (literal) push.
You Can Tear My Chocolate Out of My Cold, Dead Hands…
By Siti Rohani, editor
For food, you’d need something easy to carry and tear open, so I’m thinking lots of chocolate. (Useful for the added burst of energy for when you need to make a run for it. Also, chocolate makes everything better. Even the zombie apocalypse.)
Weapons-wise, I’d pack a parang (a Malay machete). Shoes: I’ll rock something practical. Also, let’s not forget my trusty but now very rusty medieval helmet, a purchase from a Spanish holiday.
But who am I kidding, I’ll probably perish in the first wave…